Things I've Learnt From Hairdressing

It's not my life dream to be a hairdresser. I don't particularly even enjoy it. I like to think I have other options. However, I do live an extremely lavish lifestyle that I need to support, so I work a few jobs, one of them being a Saturday job at a small hairdressing salon. I've had no formal training (no informal training either really - half an hour or "Okay, wash this woman's hair" "Blow dry her hair straight" "Mix up these tints for me" and "Clean those brushes now, okay?"), but hey, the money's good, and it doesn't require too much thought. Turns out, though, there's a lot that I've learnt from my short experience of working there (three weeks, to be precise).

• Natural haircolour is a myth
• Old people are extremely nosy
• Eldery lady hair has a very particular, distinct smell which, at the moment, is the same smell as my hands. It smells kind of carpet-y when wet. Things you didn't need to know.
• How to make the best goddamn instant coffee on the street. (Yes, you did detect sarcasm, well done)
• And I quote: "There's nothing better than swimming naked, though." I also learnt about this woman's naked swimming experience. You thought you knew awkward? You didn't.
• a) Coffee Toffee is freaking disgusting and b) it is very difficult to discreetly spit something out in a supposedly hygenic environment
• "Squeaky clean" isn't just a phrase - when hair's actually, properly clean, it's squeaks. It's extremely odd.
• The details of one woman's life. And the life of her daughter. And the life of her granddaughter. And her grandson. And how he wants to be a carpenter. And all of the things that has has recently made with wood. And the details of his academic life. And...oh, it goes on, it does.
• Hairdressers tend to repeat the same stories over and over and over again. With slightly different names and dates. And they also enjoy talking about their iPads. Or is that just in my situation?
• The first song I knew on the Easy Listening AM station was the "Live the Lotto life" jingle
• The guy in the ad about the Clive Peters store closing down sounds extremely dejected. It's an extremely depressing change from the old annoyingly chirpy jingle.
• For a station geared towards the elderly, there are an awful lot of ads for funeral homes.

Departing from the normal format of my blog posts, I know, but that was my post-work way of winding down. I know no one cares but then again, no one cares about any of the things I do, and I continue doing them anyway.

My hands feel like a sixty year old's and my shirt is covering with bleach, and yet I continue to plate myself up to you (yes, all two of you) (yes, one of those two being you, Mum), because I'm dedicated and have a four-step plan to internet domination.