When chocolate doesn't count as chocolate...

Recently, my friends and I have gone on a bit of a chocolate binge. It's not been a conscious descision, people just...sell chocolate near us, and so we buy it, in extremely large quantities. However, sometimes it's a bit hard to justify the copious amounts of chocolate being consumed - we can't just accept the fact that chocolate now makes up a huge percentage of "Food Consumed During the Day", and feel as though we have to reason with ourselves. Thus, after much collaborative deliberation, we bring you a short selection of:


When Chocolate Isn't Chocolate...(Numbers 1-35)
(A Sara and Friends List)

1. White chocolate - because it's not really chocolate
2. Chocolate purchased for charity
3. Chocolate as an ingredient in other foods
4. Chocolate as an ingredient in other drinks
5. Chocolate when there's no other food available
6. "I feel bad about eating so much chocolate, so now I must comfort-eat chocolate to cover up my feelings"
7. "I'm about to study for four hours straight" chocolate
8. "I've been doing really well on my diet" chocolate
9. Any chocolate smaller than a freddo frog
10. Chocolate fondue
11. Chocolates in which more than 50% is made up of fillings (e.g turkish delight, caramel)
12. Chocolate as an act of rebellion (You know, like when you aren't supposed to eat in somewhere, like a lab, or a library, and in order to feel badass you eat...chocolate)
13. Dark chocolate because it's "healthy"
14. Birthday chocolate
15. Chocolate as a party snack food
16. Jellly lollies dipped in chocolate
17. ...anything else dipped in chocolate
18. ...chocolate dipped in anything (I'm thinking M&Ms)
19. S'mores
20. Chocolate powder
21. "I've just eaten an entire celery so this chocolate doesn't have any calories" chocolate
22. "If I eat it while I'm working out/taking a casual stroll, I'm working off the calories as I go" chocolate
23. Thinking chocolate (chocolate consumed while in the act of thinking)
24. Chocolate spread
25. Any form of pastry containing chocolate
26. Fancy chocolate that you have to either go to a special cafe to buy, or comes in a ridiculously fancy box, or costs you (or someone else) a ridiculous amount of money
27. Procrastination chocolate
28. "I don't want my friend eating chocolate to feel bad about eating chocolate" chocolate
29. Chocolate that you steal from people
30. Chocolate containing nuts (nuts are healthy, therefore chocolate is healthy)
31. Taste test chocolate
32. Sample chocolate (there are many cheapskates amongst my friends) (Including myself)
33. "There's a new chocolate on the market, I must try it immediately" chocolate
34. Chocolate someone else has bought you that you can't NOT eat
35. "I have no place else to put this chocolate and therefore I must put it in my stomach" chocolate